Thanks to the miracles of satellite and cable television, we, beyond the shores of the New World, are entitled to a choice of programs of global proportions, many of which are unattainable, but a few catch the eye, and l one of them is American football. This is a very macho game for boys only, unlike baseball and basketball, which are girls’ games, better known in the Old World as rounders and netball respectively.
So, for those of you who have little or no knowledge of the game, here is a silly guide for your edification:
There are two teams, which helps to increase the excitement, and usually referred to by exotic names associated with their hometown. So you have the Tampa Bay Rowdies, the San Francisco High Fives, the Minnesota Maulers, etc.
Each member of the team is dressed like the Incredible Hulk, padded like an overpriced couch, and topped with a helmet and mouthguard, making it difficult, if not impossible, to follow the action.
There are up to fifteen hulks from each team on the playing field at any given time, with another fifteen on the sideline waiting to come. It depends on whether the team is in offensive or defensive mode [more later].
There are up to three referees, dressed as convicts and treated accordingly, who have little red handkerchiefs that they throw to the ground when they blow their whistles to stop play. It is all very colorful.
The object of the game is to reach the opponent’s end zone, oddly known as the touchdown zone, as no “down touch” is required. But whatever. When they do, they get points.
Teams take turns with the ball, and they try to move forward on the pitch using a variety of tactics, including “first and ten”, “second and ten” and so on. They have four attempts to advance on the field, then they must give the ball to the opposing team to try their luck. This is the signal for a wholesale change in team members, as the offensive pack with the ball is replaced by the defensive pack without the ball, and the other team’s defensive pack without the ball is replaced by its offensive pack, which will receive the ball when thrown at them by the other team’s specialized kicker. His job is really cushy, as he only comes onto the pitch to kick, then leaves again before being crushed by the opposing team, who are now on the offensive.
The most important player on any team is called the quarterback, so called because he always seems to be backing down. He also controls the games, hatched as they are in a small group, where tactics are agreed upon. He then receives the ball and has to do something with it or lay flat in the process. He can either throw it to a teammate, a good idea, who then runs like the wind, or if he is totally devoid of ideas, he can run with the ball himself, a tactic generally not recommended for health reasons. and security.
Finally, for the red-blooded men among you, each team has its own platoon of chefs, long-legged, luscious and impressive girls and a real feast for the eyes, who prance and dance to cheer their team on, and who provide a welcome distraction. the antics on the pitch.
There you go, so log on, and with the help of this guide, you’ll be an expert in no time.